the guilt of loneliness (by jessica laurean)

Loneliness brought me guilt and pleasure.

The guilt of not loving you, and the pleasure of having you.

I loved you and I didn't praise you,

I knew I had you but never thought I'd lose you.

Loneliness lingered inside my mind,

I wanted you but I wanted you away from me.

I pushed you too far for me to grasp your touch again.

The feeling of loneliness haunts me.

I'd rather be far from you to avoid the pain and misery.

Although, I want the pleasure of having you touch me.