dizzy
day to day i travel, i work.
i do my deeds, and i am happy to do them.
i come home. i am content.
there is nothing wrong. tomorrow, i'll do it again.
​
but in the back of my mind, there is a retreat.
a garden--it's shared between you and i only.
there we visit often and sing tunes of love and loss.
when we meet in the garden, my mind's pupils dilate.
i'd love it to stay here forever, somehow.
​
our rendezvous in the folds of my grey matter.
your heart in my heart in my pink matter.
​
saying all the things I had wished to say before,
reciting each line like some ancient orator of Greece.
imagining your expressions as I pour out my contents
and water the plants of our garden with it.
​
could we be this way forever, you and I?
still young in this version, and complete?
trepidation: knowing it only exists inside me,
and to you, it simply never exist.
​
i knew you loved me a long time ago,
but we were foolish and timid.
we never said a thing.
too late now, on separate paths diverging--
not regretfully, but reminiscence is key.
​
i say, hold your head in my hands metaphorically.
i will carry the weight in my dreams,
until the morning comes and we've got to go.
rest yourself all inside me.
i know and you know only we could be this close.
​
i am sorry. I wish I were braver.
i'll accept your apology, too.
just know when it's quiet and the sun has gone down,
i think of you--
only you--
it's requited.